Balding is like the Joker in Batman movies. It comes from the shadows, laughing at your face. It seems manageable at the very beginnings. Almost non-threatening. But at the end, it overwhelms your personality’s foundations. Like a virus, balding affects your every move. Balding men get depressed because of that pressure.
Some men are more immune than others, but the effects of baldness are there for all of us. Whether you choose to admit it or not, you have either to live miserably, adjust or bring back your glorious mane with magic “therapies”.
Defeat is crushing you. But why exactly is that? Why you feel like crap when losing your hair and most importantly, are there ways to change your psychology for the better?
First things first, let’s jump into the reasoning behind the sad madness that rules your mind after your initial “shining”.
Why Do Balding Men Get Depressed?
For many years, the Department of Psychology in most universities had an opposite stance. Many professors commented that
“Sadness from alopecia is not a serious issue and we should not pay attention to it, as there are other concerns to cope with.”
Wait for what?
Sure enough, the professors saying these words were hairy gorillas, or else they wouldn’t say it at all. There has been almost no research conducted on the psychology of hair loss by psychologists and psychiatrists.
Still, it doesn’t make sense for us balding men to hear such words, but we should understand. It’s in the human nature to only understand when he/she is affected by a condition (same applies in business too).
A major study was done recently revealed some interesting facts that cannot easily neglect. Hair loss exaggerates self-perception of ugliness. It can also cause a condition called “body dysmorphic disorder”.
That’s an extreme condition when the man is over the counter anxious about his looks. Which means that he experiences chronic stress in high volume especially when he is with people around. Reminds me of myself 8 years ago. But let’s move one.
The final conclusion of this study was:
But yet again, why are all these balding men feeling so bad when they lose some hair follicles? If we were aliens, we would find that amusing. But we ‘re not [(Musk is.)(He was also balding.)].
So let’s analyze some core concepts behind that psychological breakdown. All hair loss sufferers experience it at some point.
Balding men look older and sick
Let’s face it. Unless you’re the Rock, your baldness, and mine, make us look a little bit like our grandpas. In nature, animals that lose their mane or getting new gray hairs, are usually in their “golden years”. Meaning, they are old and not able to reproduce.
People experiencing hair loss complain that the way they look does not fit with their own image of themselves. This occurs when someone begins to lose hair early i.e., in their late teens or twenties, but it is as much a problem when someone has had a full-head of hair for years (and is used to receiving compliments about their hair) and then their hair thins unexpectedly in middle age.
I think you know where that is heading. When we lose our hair and see our self in the mirror we cannot recognize our young self anymore. All we see is a sick and old person. We do not understand the pattern of our thoughts, but we can inadvertently feel it in our core. We are not the same. The worst thing though is that we can see that other people notice too.
Let’s say that you don’t care what your parents say, but girls? Come on, that sucks. I know it. I ‘ve been there, you probably know it too. Look like your papa, gives the wrong message to girls. Their brain thinks “Ok, that guy is a mature one that is passed his reproductive years, so I can only be friends with him.”. Seems weird, but evolutionary scientists have almost decided the purpose of baldness regarding sex. It’s not far away from what I ‘ve just described to you.
Virality and desirability are for the young folks, not for the old guys. So having a shiny scalp, confuses the opposite sex. They think of you as an older guy than you really are. That’s a shame because you are viral and a sex beast too. That confusion and mirroring of other people seeing an old man is the first step of depression for most balding men. They associate themselves as neglected from possible mates and friends.
Have you ever seen old men walking down the street? Next time you see them notice, how many people give a damn about them. It’s sad. Almost no one, unless this man needs some kind of assistance. Even then, most people are just indifferent. Baldness brings the same feeling to young men in a smaller scale. It’s easy to get sad if you get stuck in evolution’s demands.
Perception of Attractiveness Is Lost
“Ugly is a field without grass, a plant without leaves, or a head without hair” – Ovid (43 B.C.-17 A.D.), Roman poet.
We have no tits or a beautiful ass to show. We mostly rely on our height, jawline, hair, muscles and leadership potential. These are the core traits to attract a mate as a young man and to express our beauty and intelligence to society. If you ‘re a mature man in his 40’s and 50’s, then leadership potential fulfilled seems as the most important trait to “bait” girls. But for most youngsters out there, hair still matters a lot.
Loss of our precious thick hair is a weird feeling. For most, it feels as strange and intense as their first ejaculation experience. The only difference? That one was something great. This here is a devil that can crush you and tear you apart.
Balding is the destruction of your hairline. Your face can be completely altered when you lose the stylish hairline that you proudly “wore” as a teenager or young adult. Your forehead gets suddenly bigger and of course, everyone is there to remind you that you look like Yoda from Starwars. Without his wisdom though. (Hopefully, without his height too).
You start to look weird to your friends and your mate if you ‘ve got one. They see a man with an altered face, more like an alien, less than one of their own “tribe”. Especially for young folks with hairy gorilla friends, that’s tough.
So it’s completely expected for bald men to be dissatisfied with their looks. They look old and the opposite sex seems to disapprove their change in appearance. Men with thinning hair become depressed and that can only worsen their appearance, as they do not do anything to improve the other traits.
They do not go to the gym (social pressure) and they do no build tribes to lead (social pressure). So, unless they possess Statham’s jawline or Dwayne Johnson’s height, things get tough and ugly.
There were even incidents were spouses ended their relationship with their balding men, because of hair loss!
Of course, loss of attractiveness is especially prominent in younger men, as their interest to mate with girls is more intense. Not to neglect the old ‘farts’ of course, but hey; young men with ‘sticky’ keyboards are more sensitive to beauty and virality changes.
Balding men have zero hairstyle choices
Hair is a foundational pillar of our social life. Just think about it: When you meet another man for the first time, what do you look first? The next time you go out, just observe yourself. I can bet that it’s either his cool clothes or his hairline.
Hair is unique. It’s a given we can explore. Changing the style of it and our whole face changes. The choices for self-expression are endless!
We can grow our hair. We can dye our hair. We can cut it short military style and look badass. We can look like metal heads also by growing it and pulling it in a pony-tail. With cool hairstyles, we can imitate our favorite heroes and look fresh like Tom Cruise. We can do wonders. Only if we have our hair on our scalp intact.
But what happens when our hair makes the move to go out for a run and never comes back? So styling anymore Mr. Youngster. All those plans seeing us inside a suit, working in a high tech company and showing off our lustrous, strong hairline… All these dreams seem to be dreams of the past. Balding men are forced to choose the only option on the table. Being bald.
How are you now going to wear that suit? How are you now going to work side by side with hairy gorilla colleagues? How’s that possible?
Of course, those crazy patterns of thought are usually temporary, but when you deal with hair loss, it’s tough to think yourself your morning routine. Where’s the “styling my awesome hair” part? Now instead of styling your awesome hairline, your choices seem very strict. Shave it or not. Too much of a Spartan philosophy, don’t you think?
Not the variety of choices you have always dreamt of. I know. I ‘ve been there too. I picked the shaved look, but that’s another story.
If you choose to leave hair as it is, your remaining receding hairline seems funny when not thick. Your scalp starts to show, and shine for that matter. There is now camouflage for that unless you choose the wig. Trust me, don’t do it.
So that change enhances, even more, the bad cycle of psychology. You feel old, you look uglier and you have fewer options in styling. But balding men are only fighting this in their heads. Right? They do not show any signs of psychological breakdown. Sure enough, most of their peers do not seem to care about their newly bladed friend’s appearance. Is that so? Let’s take a closer look.
Balding Men Show Signs Of Depression Often
M.Ds around the world are summing in great conferences. The news is that balding in the 21st century is finally acknowledged as a huge emotional burden. Psychologists and dermatologists are now considering the depressing state that balding men are going through.
The shock of hair loss is difficult to ignore and usually is “handled” with buying hats or staying at home for weeks. Of course, there are some bald heroes that do not give a s**t, but for most of us who give a s**t, we react. Usually, our reaction is not in our best interests.
Let’s see some of those reactions:
We deny bad stuff in our lives. It’s a natural human form of shield to protect us our identity. But as always, denial is just a hurdle we ‘ve got to pass through.
Denying hair loss may seem not the best thing to do, but most of us have done it. And some of us keep doing it. We don’t want to feel the emotions of losing something so precious like our thick hairline. It’s an upsetting and devastating experience. It seems like the world crushing on our shoulders, but instead of us being the Atlas, we are … just us.
Coping with balding is very important and so lying to ourselves isn’t going to do us any good. It will make us less sad in the short term, but it’s not sustainable for ever. Hair loss is something that progresses over time and so there is a high probability that we will accept our fate.
Doing it sooner than later seems like a better choice. Reacting with denial just slows things. Make a realistic assessment of your hair loss progression and move on to the proper treatment solutions. Most balding men “jump” steps. Be a smart baldie and acknowledge your state before making a move to treat it.
That’s the difficult part. Our reactions to an external source. Just imagine the following scenario. You ‘re going out with some friends. You meet them in the subway station. There are a lot of lights and your bald spots are visible. Your friends have brought some of their friends too. They see you for the first time under heavy lights. Of course, as many men out there, a friend of yours mocks you with funny names and make fun of your balding head. The others stare and taunt on your receding hairline. How do you react?
Most balding men don’t react well to that mocking. They accept the mocking and jokes because they don’t want to hurt their friends. They silence their voice and swallow their resentment to such racist behavior (yeah, it’s a form of discrimination). Of course, doing so, they feel hate and anger inside them. Which inevitably can lead to even attempting to punch their friends in the mouth and end this relationship badly.
Others react with more aggression and hit their friends in the face right there. No waiting or hidden feelings. Just punches flying around! Now, if their friend used to fight then all cool. The bald guy might just have strengthened the relationship with him and his friends. But if the “harasser” friend is not used to punches, then you just ruined this relationship without giving a second chance to the guy to explain himself.
Let’s take a look at the last case and the best of the three. The friend mocks you. You do not laugh but you do not appear insulted either. Just say hi to all the guys there, and take your friend a little bit on the side. Tell him that if respects your relationship and wants to be friends with you, he won’t do something like that again in the future. If he accepts (without laughing), great. If not, he is not your friend anymore.
The 3rd case is the best scenario to go with, but most people default to the first two. They either fill their anger and resentment banks or they end the relationship with an ugly fight, losing also the respect of the other friends.
There is another case though, which is staying at home and never go out again. A lot of balding men choose this option. They stay home because they fear of jokes or bullying in the workspace (or college).
It makes sense to avoid jokes and smoking only if you cannot handle it. But you can handle it. So learn how to deal with it because things are only going to get worse if you stay home. Balding is a progressive procedure so focus on dealing with it while you are a still a social being.
You go out with friends. Most of them have still thick hairlines. You feel weird. They are your friends! Why do you feel that weird feeling called jealousy? Or is it envy?
Whatever it is, the fact is that you would love to have your friends’ hairlines. You feel a minority and ugly, whereas they have all their hair intact and they still make those cool hair styles. Whether these men are your friends or not, you hate the fact that nature force you with this balding appearance. “Why me?” “Why not them?” Yes, you all thought that way. Let’s be honest here.
You felt envious. You felt injustice and you even thought bad thoughts. How would it be like for your friends to go bald? You would be happier than ever.
The evolutionary reason behind those feelings is that your companions just raised their status automatically. Perception is always the result of comparing yourself with your surrounding. That is why your friends are now seen as more attractive. You ‘re balding and they are not so in comparison they seem younger and healthier than you. In a way, you ‘re making them a favor by increasing their attractiveness (charge them some money – just kidding!).
Those feelings can be understood, but not justified. Other men didn’t force you to lose your hair, mother nature did. If you ‘re young, most probably you helped speed up the procedure with inflammatory living.
So resent those feelings because it’s not their fault that they still have hair on their scalps. Focus on what matters which is to find treatment for your hair loss and worry about things that matter.
Many studies out there show that hair loss triggers feelings of depression and anxiety. These two lead to social isolation and feelings of ugliness.
Most balding men that have been through different stages of hair loss, share the same feelings. But the sad thing is that most of them do not go out and share their feelings. Most of them are just staying home because they are afraid and depressed.
Unfortunately, social pressure is a b***h. You can’t help yourself and go around it or ignore it. Your tribal DNA dictates it. As a balding man, you feel different and now you look also different. You ‘re afraid that the tribe will resend your identity.
Of course, in ancient times that would mean death sooner than later. A man standing alone was an easy prey to lions and tigers. The tribe is the power and the reason humanity rules this planet. We are social animals and we muster courage from our side man, our assistant warrior. But we have to display some value and some characteristics.
Being bald indicates either sickness or old age. In tribal years, that would mean either staying with the women behind or left alone to die. neither is a good choice for a young man’s brain. That’s why when balding you get depressed.
Your unconscious mind is running the system, not your logical brain.
As it is with many things, most men when losing control over something, they usually lose control in other areas of their life too.
It’s seen with people doing extreme diets and it’s also observed with people getting into a bad accident or getting sick. They lose their discipline and focus.
That’s why balding men usually lose control of their lives when they lose their awesome, thick and lustrous hairline. Hair loss is something where we have little to no power to reverse things as fast as they happened. We can stop the rate of our hair loss and sure enough, we can bring some of the hair back with natural ways. But unless we have enough money to do a hair transplant, we default to other solutions.
If those don’t bring the unrealistic results we hope, we lose faith. After that, we say “f**k it!”, let’s get lazy because now we feel wronged and we need a break to cope with it.
The best example is me. I ‘ve procrastinated 2 full years of college because of my hair loss shame. But I will share my experience in a future guide where you ‘re going to learn all my mistakes and avoid all the drama.
The lesson here is:
Balding men make false assumptions when they lose control over their heads. The worse assumption is that losing control in other areas of their lives is considered ok, because they need to relax and cope with their balding. Which is not the best strategy to go, if you want to be a vibrant leader of men. Leaders are vibrant, not necessarily hairy.
Smash Your Depressive Baldness Thoughts With 5 Steps
Lucky you! You ‘ve made it! You ‘ve read the previous depressing facts, now you reached the source of happiness. We have no intentions to mock or depress anyone of our readers, but we thought you deserved our analysis because we know how that feels.
That’s why we will give you 5 ways to reverse all the drama and regain your confidence and attractiveness.
1. Start Exercise
That’s a no-brainer. Girls like men with muscles. Even balding men. Yes, you ‘ve lost some attraction from your bald spots, but muscles can give you back some grace!
Just because you ‘ve lost a battle, doesn’t mean that you should quit the war. The war is the attraction. The lost battle is hair loss. There is a battle that you can win and it’s called “physique”. Go to the gym and workout. Girls love muscles. You don’t need to be like Arnold, but be muscular is just enough for girls to be attracted by your bald self.
Your improvement in your physique will give you more confidence to smash any doubts about your value and attractiveness. Also adding some salad will speed the process. Remember. Baldness is just a hurdle.
Shaving your head is a great way to look more dominant and tender aggressive as many studies conclude. It’s a nice solution if you have no money for shampoos, solutions and hair transplants. So give it a try.
Evolution takes away some of your attractiveness, but it boosts your perception of dominance and maturity if you handle this right,
But you ‘re gonna love it better if you add also …
Balding sucks. But being bald with beards is a new whole dimension. Women love it, you are gonna love it and it looks more aggressive on you. It is mainly. Our way to differentiate ourselves from women and crush any doubts of weakness.
Science tells us that beards evolved as a mean for men to hide their emotions and be more aggressive when in a fight with other males or animals. Seems good to me. Aggression and dominance go hand in hand. If handled right and expressed only when necessary, most women are prone to men with these qualities.
Beards help. You ‘l feel better and you ‘re going to explore new styles, with long beards or short mustaches. Just don’t do goatee plz, unless you ‘re a teenager or a metalhead, it’s not the best addon for your attraction perception.
But if you can’t grow beards, we suggest that you jump into the next point.
4. Dress Nicer
Dressing better than a swordsmith is a good way to improve your attractiveness. Choose clothes that fit you well, preferably clothes with no funny signs. Also, find clothing that is not too tight or too loose.
If you like suits, even better. If you ‘re younger, you can go with blazers. If you don;t like that style, cool. Find a pair of nice trousers, some nice shirts or t-shirts, and a nice coat.
Pair those with nice shoes and a shiny watch and you’ve got to go. You appear groomed and manly. Girls like men that are groomed and take care of themselves. If you think that going out on a date with your high school basketball team t-shirt to impress a girl, you ‘re going down (metaphorically speaking). No hope for you if you do it that way.
Dress for success as Dan Pena says and your baldness will be ignored faster from people. They will be stunned with your beautiful clothing style.
p.s: You could also try stylish hats, there are some nice choices to make you look an attractive mate for every girl’s heart.
5. Change your Focus
Last but not least, change your focus. Focus on other things more important. As men, we have many ways to be attractive and respected by society. Hair is only one of them.
You can focus on starting a business. You can focus on learning to speak in public. You can be involved in organizations and learn leadership. There are many ways to boost your confidence and gain respect …and girls.
So change what you can change. Do your best to your hair. There are many shampoos, solutions and essential oils out there to assist you. But if you can’t do anything, just focus on things you can improve. It’s that simple actually. Be a bald millionaire. Focus on that.
Cheer up bald eagle! There is glory waiting for you at the end of the road. Don’t give up just because some hair flew off your scalp. You are much more than that. Accept the fact that people see the visual part of you first. Then improve your health, build some muscles, be a better leader and things can take another direction.
Before you go, as usual, we made some key banana points for you to remember as take aways from this article.
Special thanks to: